An online gathering of fans of BBC Radio 4 soap The Archers has been gatecrashed by a masturbating OAP.
The long-running countryside drama is one of the few productions to remain on air during the coronavirus outbreak, albeit with a new format and a reduced episode count.
Super-fan Roifield Brown organised a Zoom chat for other die-hard Archers obsessives, known as 'Dumteedumers', with between 30 and 50 showing up and engaging in pleasant conversation before the unwanted guest arrived.
"A gentleman who was at least 60 decided to pleasure himself in front of the massed ranks of Dumteedumers on Zoom," Brown recalled.
"The horrible gentleman with the small penis will not be joining us again.
"It was harrowing. We had four minutes of sedate conversation then three minutes of absolute chaos.
"There was all manner of pornography thrown up and Nazi swastikas and I was called the N-word repeatedly."
Brown added that he remains undeterred by the incident and plans to hold another fan event next Friday, albeit with an entry password.